You all know that I’m addicted to pregnancy tests, right? Well, a funny thing happened the last time I tried to buy one and I had to share it with all of you.
It was a Friday night at about 10pm and I was taking off my bra for the night. Now, this is notable because I am, ahem, well endowed and taking the bra off and letting the girls fly free is just about the best thing ever. But as I was taking off my bra I realized that the girls were feeling pretty tender. Like, tender in a feeling-I-remember-well-from-every-time-I’ve-been-pregnant sort of way. Hmmmmm.
I did some quick backwards math and gave a shrug because we’d stopped trying and there was no way I was pregnant. I told my husband “there’s no way, but I need to take a test or it’s going to drive me crazy,” and I headed to the grocery store for a pregnancy test. Of course, they had them all locked up in the pharmacy. The closed pharmacy. The very nice cashier told me I could come back at 8am for one. Uh, no way! So I headed to the closest 24-hour drug store.
The drug store was surprisingly active for a Friday evening at 10:30pm. There were at least a dozen people in the store. I swear that I must be the only married, adult woman in the world who is still embarrassed to be hanging out in the “family planning” aisle. Between the pregnancy tests and the condoms (more…)