The Cost of IVF and Financing Options

7 Comments

1. The SOFT Blogger

   One of the most important topics we discuss with patients are the non-financial stresses that come along with the IVF process. Certainly the cost of IVF hits anyone’s bank account in a hard way but the emotional investment in deciding, pursuing and performing IVF is huge and something often overlooked until patients are already going through the process.

2. Andrea

   Me and my common law husband have been saving for 5 years to pay for IVF…I have had 5 ectopic pregancies and to say the less it has been very stressful and emotional , I hope and pray that our dream of having children is in our future …

3. Stephanie Himel-Nelson

   Andrea – I’m so sorry for your losses. I can’t even imagine! Best of luck to you and hang in there. We’re all pulling for you.

4. Stephanie Himel-Nelson

   You’re so right. Deciding how far to go and when to do it was definitely a difficult decision for me and my husband. Thank you so much for pointing that out.

5. Kyle

   I don’t want to sound negative but my wife and I have been trying to conceive a child for 2+ years. My wife had an eptopic pregnancy requiring her tube be removed, after many Dr. visits, we decided to not spend any more money and see a IVF Dr. because her other tube had been blocked from the previous stress her body went under. We went through the process and found out that it was possible, but however because my wife smoked, they wouldn’t gurantee the refund, they said if we waited 90 days and she would quit smoking we would qualify, so we did just that. She quit and we emailed the clinic we were attending and they said they would get with the Attain company and get us a final number, we all know this is a huge mental strain, “How do we pay for it?” For whatever reason may be, the final number went up $7,000 from the short few months that she quit smoking. We are absolutely devistated as this was our last hope of having our own child, I don’t understand how a company could raise the price of their services when in fact the patient whom is trying to better her health quits and when she contacts them, they then decide to charge her another $7,000. We are just two Americans whom work everyday and have been putting money away to hopefully one day bring a child of our own into the world, however, I assume we will just have to realize that we will not be able to ever have a child of our own. I am not trying to discourage anyone but want my voice to be heard that I am more dissapointed/frustrated than I am angry. I wish you all the best in your IVF journey and hope God blesses all of you! Thank you for reading.

6. Stephanie Himel-Nelson

   Kyle – First of all, congrats on quitting smoking! It’s not easy to do and the health benefits to you (and hopefully your baby-to-be) are so rewarding.

   Based on what you shared here, it looks like you originally qualified for the Multi-Cycle Program, which includes up to 4 tries and is our lower-cost program.

   However, after you “kicked the habit,” you most likely qualified for the Refund Program, as well (one of the medical criteria for this particular program is that you must have been a non-smoker for a minimum of 3 months). The Refund Program does cost more because it includes additional IVF cycles (you get up to 6 tries) as well as a refund of up to 70% if you don’t have a baby.

   It sounds like you now have the option to enroll in either program now – yet another benefit from of being a non-smoker. Of course we’ll need to review your application with you to confirm all of this. Could you call us at Attain IVF Customer Care so we can review your options and fees? 1-877-392-2206

   I’m so glad you voiced your concerns here. Not only is it an opportunity for us to explain how the programs work, but you’re also an inspiration for other women trying to have a baby!

7. 2 dad's in the making... we pray!

   I started to write this because I was irritated by the obsticales we face in achieving our dreams, in not only parenthood, but in most aspects of our life. In my career, I have worked with people who have faced so much negative energy, disruption, emotional turmoil, pessimism, anger, abuse- so horrific, had I not heard things from patents with my own ears- I would not be able to wrap my mind around the power we all have inside ourselves- a power that you may not even be aware you have, no strength is a much better description, it is inside of you… I have been through things in my own life that have caused damage to my emotional psyche and been in places, positions moments that could have changed who I have become as an adult, dark places that I find so personally devastating that even the idea makes my disposition change drastically- sometimes the sent of something, a voice, the taste of dinner… PTSD is what it is termed, I beleive that to some degree we all have one form or another of this mental disease, and we all start out in life clean, open and able to form ourselves into societal norms- example, when someone asks me if my children still have an accent or if they had a difficult time learning English- this will make sense if you read…. I kinda let the flood-gates open, and for the first time- gave an honest accounting, to myself, of what I went through to achieve the very dream you are hoping to have come true by visiting this website…. and I am in no way affiliated with them, I was here for the same reason you came to this sight, so understand, I am the same- we are all the same, and want the same things in life, and through something that started out to be a few lines in an anonymous post, helped me realize how fortunate I am, and what abilities I may have to see others avoid my mistakes- my own misfortune, I do not think that this should be edited in any way, nothing identifying, nothing specific is displayed, so even if only one person reads this post, it may serve some good, maybe- I certainly hope that I am able to show one thing, my faith in God- yes, as a gay person who was at one time in his life a “patient” at Exodus International, am able to see the light at the end of my own tunnel.)

   I never thought that becoming a father would be the amount of work, time, patience, open-mindedness, trust, cost and any other word I forgot to mention. I knew that being gay, having a baby was not going to be easy, I just never imagined the bottom line being financial- for some reason, I honestly believed that the bottom line would be a gift from God combined with a woman whom – for whatever reason- decides that today, I am going to do something that the majority of people cannot fathom- I am going to ___________ (fill in the method of delivery.) This selfless act, for me, never came down to a financial issue… I am not discounting surrogates and the financial end of the arrangement…. or birthmothers and reimbursement of expenses…. The ultimate was the idea of making my partner and I parents. And, just a side note to ensure that I am not misunderstood, money is important, I just never imagined how my life would lead based for the most part on money = baby, it just seemed, and still should be altruistic.
   First off, I must admit, when we started attempting to have a family, I thought that if I gave back to the fertility community in some way… Somehow it might be paid forward. So, back in the late 90′s to early 00′s, during college, I became a sperm donor. Now, I never saw myself as being anything special- just a normal guy, however- let me create a visual…. Not only was I gay, and came out at the age of 11 back in 1990- when being gay was not so “stylish,” lets just say that this revelation was not well received by my classmates or well, anyone. My biggest supporter was my dad actually, whom I never thought would accept me- and I really thought that upon his learning of my sexual orientation, I would lose him (and, to be honest, this is a man who has told me he loved me only a handful of times in my life, who at times was abusive, but overall- I had only one father, and I didn’t want to lose him.) Let me move past this… the picture… Like many, I over-ate, which I think was much better than doing drugs or drinking, however, I became what use to be called “husky” which essentially means fat, but uses a two syllable word instead of a one I became depressed, let myself go so to speak, and eventually turned into a fat (459 lbs) depressed lonely person. I will admit, I did things in my life that I am not proud of to obtain the attention from others that I craved- I guess anything was better than nothing. And, out of the blue… Columbus day weekend of my 11′th grade year of High School, several things happened. Matthew Shepard was murdured, my father realized that guys that where honking their horn at him when he used my car (with a rainbow sticker on the bumper) where hitting on him, not just saying hi (it was comical to say the least) when for he first time I ever saw or can remember- he actually stood behind my car looking at the bumper then compared it to a flyer about PFLAG and then he told my mother “I think Dickie’s gay.” My dad, whom I was so afraid of losing- turned out to be my biggest fan, and to my shock- he was actually angry that I did not attend my prom, bc I was afraid he would find out my secret. And in the most life changing moment, only two days after finding out who I was- my bf moved into my parents home- my dad thought it was wrong that my bf’s family kicked him out for his homosexuality… and, while waiting in line at a pharmacy to pick up tooth paste, he walked out of line… and he picked up a box of condoms and told me about them and joked that pregnancy may not be the issue for me, but I still needed protection (more comical was the brand he picked up, I nearly lost consciousness, he put the box back and asked the guy putting stuff on shelves to see if there was any magnum XXL available (not trying to be gross mind you, he was actually doing something he thought was healthy, but naturally as I turned several different colors, he reminded me that I was his son, so that was the brand he used… and, I needed the same, right? That was the first and last time I ever spoke to my father about protection, the funny part was the brand- not trying to be gross, in fact, most men would e flattered to be told they need them, but by your dad- um, no thanks. FAST FORWARD A YEAR, I came out of my shell, I decided to loose weight, get healthy, educated, and married to the love of my life We where young, but today, at 33, when I tell someone we have been together for 18 years, it seems the earth stops moving for a moment We wanted all the same things everyone else wanted, education, get married, good job, travel, buy a home, have a family… And we did those things, mirroring the life of our heterosexual peers. (this is where the altruistic part part of me came out) I was healthy, apparently attractive, and while at my universities cafe, I read an add seeking a sperm donor for a lesbian couple. I fit there request down to every aspect (even having a Polish/Jewish ancestry- specifically Ashkenazi Jew- and the rest hair, eye, ht, wt, build… and not to brag, some educational stuff, high test scores, grades/gpa…. ) So, I answered, and decided that I did not want to be paid or anything, I just wanted to help them, and together I helped them have three children between them. Then, another add similarly placed, similar request (few years later) for a heterosexual couple from Australia who had to remain anonymous because of their careers. It was only after I provided the same with the same type of arrangement, this time I could have been this husbands twin- he was VERY specific with what he wanted in a donor for his wife, essentially a mirror copy of himself… and I helped them have 3 children as well. And, I later met this couple, who where in the entertainment industry. I do not claim to be a marter, nothing all that great, I didn’t want any credit for what I provided. I just wanted to help. I knew that I was lucky to be able to provide for someone, and that was fine for me. I suppose this is how a surrogate must feel after helping someone bring a new life into the world. Certainly not the same level, but- similar. And, I admit, in the back of my brain, I felt that if I did this for someone, it was only fair since I would need help similarly, and it was the least I could do. Also, I felt good about being able to be the person that- well, made their dream of parenthood reality. And, that was compensation enough for me
   FAST FORWARD TWO YEARS…
   In 2001, my partner and I started to try to create our family, and this is when the reality of ART and everything associated with it became clear. And, in an effort to cut this shorter, because I can only imagine you must be thinking… get to the point. So I will, and I will summarize, because I also do not want to give away anything identifying about myself, I do not want pity- just want to shed some light on payment plans, agency fee’s, fee’s, fee’s fee’s, fee’s.
   -In 2000, we applied and completed our home study, open to adopt anywhere, literally. Our agency matched us with a little boy in the Ukraine. They required two trips, I made the first trip, fell in love, and waited- 2 months later we where told that he was no longer available. Then we where matched with another little boy, this was a last minute arrangement by the agency- whom has a couple travel to Korea, pick up their baby, only to file for divorce on return to the USA. After having him live with us for 7 months, we where informed that the Ministry of S Korea had realized what occurred- and our adoption was stopped. Needless to say, we where crushed. We had just completed the third of 4 surgeries to repair this baby’s cleft lip/cleft palate- he was placed back with the original couple. This ordeal with this agency, whom reminded us nothing was gaurenteed until finalization, then made a third placement. We where told of a birthmother living in the south of USA, pregnant, wanted a closed adoption and that all that was known was she had used drugs at the start of her pregnancy… Because it was closed, we essentially received three bills to be paid/ help living expenses ect… and then as the due date approached, we waited, and… nothing? We became concerned after we passed the EDC, and began to call the agency over and over and over… Apparently we had all been taken for a fool, there was no baby, it was a person who wanted the financial assistance- and was not even pregnant. After an emotional journey with this agency, they said that we needed to wait, and after a few months, our contract expired for their services, and we did not have the money to move forward…. 2.6 years, total spent- $110,000.
   -2002, we signed with a surrogacy agency, we did our homework, met the director, matched with a surrogate immediately…. 4 AI attempts, she gave up. Second surrogate, two AI attempts, then location of egg donor, IVF cycle began, surrogate never showed for procedure. Now we had embryo’s- 11 to be exact. However, the procedure was so expensive, we could only afford a “traditional” surrogacy. We matched with the agency’s “Gold Standard” surrogate, a three timer, who felt terrible for our situation, and offered to help. She became pregnant on attempt number one, via home insemination, and we could not have been happier and as we approuched the twentieth week, we where on cloud nine! The agency asked us if we had any interest in donating our embryo’s to another couple… because we where planning the birth AND she asked us if we would like to go again- after this baby was born. It was to good to be true. Our contact for almost everything was the director of the agency, and on August 28, as we waited for a phone call from our surrogate (she was seeing the MD for a check up) no call came? Unlike her… At 8:57pm, I sat, and my heart pounded with fear, we where only one day away from officially twenty weeks, and , I knew, something terrible had occurred. At 8:58pm the phone began to ring. I froze, because inside I knew it was terrible news- but the longer we waited to answer the phone, the longer we where pregnant, and after 5 rings, I picked up the phone. Apparently something happened, no heartbeat, and she refused to speak with us. We decided to take a few months off, and allow ourselves time to heal…. and decide what to do. Then, while on vacation, a last minute weekend get-a-way, a black car pulled up to the house we where staying at in Provincetown MA, and two men, dressed in suits came to the back of the house and asked us if we where who we where, and informed us that our agency had just been closed for so many violations and scams, it was a nightmare, and they informed us that there was no pregnancy at all, and she was also pregnant for two other couples, AND, this was a scam put together by the director of the agency? Total cost-around $ 125,000. Also, the embryo’s that we donated to another couple, did not exist, that was part of the scam. It is not hard to figure out what agency this was/ the guy who ran it… etc… Not only where we scammed, but another 20 or so couples as well. Mid Atlantic Center for Surrogacy.
   -2004, an email comes into my inbox, however it was from several years earlier- in my spam folder. It was overlooked, never opened… but the RE said, “we work with same-sex couples all the time.” So, I opened it, and within the 25 seconds it had taken to read the few lines, I called my partner at work, and told him of this incredible agency in Guatemala, with an EXCELLENT track record for working with same sex couples. As always, I talked to the program coordinator, whom had me convinced that not only was I going to be matched with a baby almost immediately, but they had a history of repeat birth-mothers… and their policy was to contact the original adopting family about a sibling. Now, I had been through it all, and this program sounded bullet-proof, and as always- I forgot that when something is too good to be true, it is… However, 4 weeks after the initial call, we had everything submitted and where “paper-ready.” And we where told that the longest wait may be up to 8 weeks, its rare, but could be that long. Then, on May 12, 2004, we received our referal- a baby boy, 2 days old, I still remember the phone ringing, opening my email to see a photo, and within the one minute phone call I received, we where matched if we wanted to move forward, which we did. About ten-twelve minutes after the phone call, we then received our first of several request for money to move forward…. Honestly, we maxed credit cards, borrowed against our house, took out personal loans each and my partner had a loan system where he worked (employee’s could borrow up to $10,000.) And, in three months, my entire world changed and I was standing, next to my partner, holding our son- being told by the embassy that his adoption had been the fastest one she had ever been a part of- 89 days…. I remember touching ground in the US, walking off the plane, and as we exited BOS Logan on the escalator, at least 50 people (friends and relatives) and another zillion passengers saw us and watched as we became dad’s, the happiest moment of my life. He felt like my baby, and I forgot about the past, because it was done- he was ours. I never knew how much I really wanted to be a dad until that day. I was so elated, the memories of horror in trying to have him, masked the emotional turmoil we had been through. So much, that when the phone wrang (unexpectedly) on May 19, 2005 at 9:45am, I honestly never dreamed my life could be changed in any direction because Liam brought years of pain to an end… I still look at him sometimes and I remember each detail of every moment of his life, nothing could have made me happier…. But, the phone wrang, I turned Kelly Clarkson’s “Behind These Hazel Eyes” down, kissed my little man on the cheek just before picking up the phone, for just one millionth of a second, my thoughts raced- and I could feel in my heart that my life was going to change drastically… Naomie-Aaliyah, my baby girl, whom I had not expected, whom was un-benounced to her, would complete, in my mind, the family that I had always wanted. We had a sibling referral, and oddly enough she was exactly one year and one day younger than Liam… It was unbelievable. And, unprecedented in the orphanages history, a same sex male couple adopted a baby girl without ever having any issue ever, nothing, nada… It was as if this was what was intended to happen how it unfolded. It was a dream that had become reality. In one year, my world seemed to finally look up, I had the family that I had dreamed of, and I could not believe how lucky I was, the two greatest miracles in the world, and I still cannot beleive how lucky I was, no words could ever explain how wonderful it felt to be me- all of the pain, and hurt was gone when I looked into their eyes. I look back and I now also see how years of pain made numbing that pain more important than anything- It is true, if you hear people talk about how it took so long, so many trials and issues and hurts to finally reach the feeling you get when you hold your baby and you literally cannot remember anything negative. We felt fortunate, however, during this time, I was also blinded to my marriage falling apart and after being together for more than half our lives, one month after my baby girl came home- my partner left our home, and I have no contact with him anymore. I didn’t have time to mourn the death of my marriage, because I was now going through what so many couples go through after infertility, even same sex couples, divorce. It was not until we where in court dividing our one life into two, that I was told how in-debt we where. Two Guatemalan adoptions in one year cost $120,000, of which we did not have. But honestly, I don’t care, because I could never have imagined how much I love being a dad. How lucky we where to have had not one, but two miracles in such a short time. I missed my partner so much, but my comfort was in the love I had for my baby boy and girl. Looking back, at that time, I was so happy about finally having them in my life, I do not even think that I gave myself any time to morn the death of our marriage, the person that I thought I would take my last breath next to, was gone. I found myself happy to be a dad, but sad to be a single one. So, at the cost of my relationship, we finally reached our dream, with a crack in the side- but, still as I look back, I still cannot say that I would change any part, because if I did, I would not have my angels. I miss my “family” but am comforted by the two miracles that truly mended my heart.
   Then, two years later, single, in debt, I found myself at odds with a dilemma… I knew what was about to happen, and in my head I told myself to stay away from the phone, put the ringer on off…But, I didn’t… I could not, on January 22, 2007, I received a phone call while walking down the isle at Stop and Shop, it was a ringer that was set to only ring if a call came in from Guatemala. Although we had divorced, we actually just happened to be in the store at the same time, and, he looked at me and said “do not answer that-” but I was not able to turn my back, one the second ring I looked at him and I made a promise- I said, in our lives we seldom receive a surprise as big as this one, and with the third ring, my ex told me- I want nothing to do with this, the fourth ring… I was making a deal that I never dreamed would change my life as much as it did, and I begged him- please don’t turn away, I will be responsible for everything, and then I picked up the phone. I was now the father of baby number three- however things would not be as easy as they had been with Liam and Naomie… You see, I was single, and my ex- the other parent wanted nothing to do with this baby, however, I know that in his heart, as much as he says he was over me, and as much as I wanted to believe that this might bring us back together, ultimately it wouldn’t, I guess I felt like most people who experience years of frustration… like a couple who try for ten years to have a baby, and when they finally are pregnant, they are faced with quadruplets, and odds that are working against them- and having to make decisions that no-one should ever have to make. I, personally, felt responsible, I was the father of the eldest two, and, I just could not turn my back.
   Next, is a part of my life that was more gut wrentching than I had ever experienced. That night, I agreed, made a promise, that I would not turn my back on a baby after I had been blessed twice- I just couldn’t.
   Things did not move in any direction similar to my first two, record breaking adoptions…. And, in August 2007, I received several revelations that looking back, I knew, I knew the truth behind- when something seems to good to be true, it probably is. I cannot begin to explain the length and depth I swam to, to keep my promise. I found myself in the middle of another “scandal.” To cut a three and a half year battle with the Guatemalan government short, and over $200,000 of debt, I was standing in a courtroom, with a translator, who was explaining to me that not only was my first adoption part of a larger scheme of money making, but my second was in furtherance (I myself was not in trouble, it was the orphanage, who, what I want to believe was in an effort to help make the dreams come true of over 9,000 families, and not a money making, baby-making/warped surrogacy arrangement between uneducated and poor single woman desperate to feed the children they already had and a couple, a husband and wife team- who, for over 14 years where thought to be the best and most successful adoption program available in Guatemala- helping thousands of families, both in Guatemala- American couples where told of horrible abuse, unemployment, slave labor,prostitution, and the list continues to grow, and what I am now aware of was a half-hearted attempt to “help” these woman who where fighting to keep food on the table. I have NO problem with surrogacy, I do however, have a problem with taking advantage of people… and to be honest, both parties emotions and desperate attempts to to the right thing… made victims out of so many people, that in the almost five years since its exposure, things are still coming to light that make me nauseated to the point where I honestly cannot look at another article exposing all of the corruption, and wondering what I am going to say to my children, when they google themselves and read horrible stories about their conceptions?
   I filed bankruptcy about a year ago, I am embarrassed to admit this to anyone, because I am afraid of what someone might think, had they not been in the same situation. My ex-partner is in a debt repayment program that is so outrageous, he should have just filed bankruptcy. Fortunately, I atleast am able to get sleep at night, because although I was unsuccessful in bringing my baby home, I know that he is in a good home, with loving adoptive parents… However, the other families where not as fortunate. I made a deal with “the devil” and opened up to the world about my experiences with this agency, I anonymously gave interviews to several area’s of the reporting/news that allowed me to have some say in where my youngest baby was placed for adoption- permanently. I decided, after doing everything, and when I say everything, I also mean anything I could do to ensure that if I could not bring him home, he was not just placed in another foster home where the main goal is financial, not because of infertility. Now, seriously, if I go to google, and type something in about adoption and Guatemala, my picture comes up over and over, depending on the day. For my children’s sake, the deal that ensured a good home- also allowed my anonymity (which was a decision I faced with two options, participate with the investigation and ensure a good home for my baby boy, and my identity from being spread across the planet as one of the vicious/ money hungry parents who are faced with the same issue everyday, when someone knows about something… blah, blah, blah… and took advantage of poor young woman- which I swear on a stack of bibles, I would NEVER do, and had NO knowledge of……….. or, because I was identified as one of the people adopting one of the CQ 46 babies in limbo- the picture of me would include my face, and my name, I tried to do the best thing I could in what little power I had over the situation…) Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for the blessings I have been given. I try not to think about what I went through, what nearly 40% of humans go through when faced with the harsh reality of infertitliy, for me, I wanted to be able to sleep at night and someday, explain that I had good intentions in everything I did to become a father, and be able to look into the eyes of my children while explaining myself. I pray to God that they will understand, and not resent me in some way, and remember how much I love them, and how much I thank God for the blessings I have been given…
   Update… my baby boy is doing great, will be entering school in the spring, and is part of a great family- a permantent family that loves him for him, and nothing more- and, similar to a lot of adoptions in the US, I get pictures and little updates- and his parents are wonderful, and I thank God for there kind hearts, that where already filled, AND I MEAN FILLED (9 CHILDREN ALREADY…) That they saw my little man, and saw their youngest son, and whom have allowed me to stay part of his life, and allow my kids the opportunity to know their brother someday. In the end, I had the opportunity to take him out of a home that he knew as his own for over three years as reality, or in my opinion, selficiously take him out of the only family he ever knew and bring him to a place that is in almost all ways- foreign… in my heart, he is still my little boy, but I, like so many others- needed to make a decision in HIS interest, and I pray I did the right thing. You may ask yourself, what the heck is this guy writing about this for, opening wounds and talking about infertility after success, truth is, I re-married, a friend who was their for me when I needed someone to talk to, became the love of my life, and I am just as thankful for his presence as I am for all of the other blessings I have been given. I found myself back in the same position I was twelve years ago… I love being a dad, and we hope to have a baby together… I feel like my eyes are more open than ever before, but in the end, not much as changed- programs may have changed their focus, acceptance seems to be slightly more open to same sex families, in-fact, after careful searching for what seems to be the method this year for same sex couples to follow, still involves the same old issues, and the same bottom line… and, like before, financial issues dictate the options that are available to those in desperate need. Today, after researching methods we could try for over a year, I was presented with an opportunity that almost anyone who has been down this road would jump at, because in the end- although the bottom line comes down to the highest bidder on the end of the person who is in the position of power to place a child, and I am not pointing fingers at anyone or any part of the methods available, but, because this is round two, I am able to clearly identify the changes/similarities…. And, even after all I have been through, and what I have learned, I am still not sure what I am going to do to make our desire for a baby a reality… I have however been aprouched from several area’s of the world of the methods to parenthood (I never dreamed that my explanation to an agency question “what methods have you tried to make your dream of parenthood have you tried” would lead to not only an opportunity to have another baby, but, actually help others in the process find their way through the tunnel, and reach their own dreams of parenthood, so I guess I wanted to share my feelings regarding the frustration of financing- the bottom line for so many people, and my own good fortune that may help others… I guess I wanted to share two things, anything is possible so do not give up, you never know what may be lurking right around the corner- and sometimes it is not what you may have set out originally to make things happen, I certainly never dreamed twenty years ago when I was admitting to myself that I was gay- and, to the shock of many, I wanted all the same things everyone else wanted (and same sex couples and singles will understand this) a family to call my own. And, second… if I take the opportunity that I have in front of me (and after typing all of this, I am 99% sure that I am going to) I cannot tell you when, but I really do hope and pray that I can take my own experiences, shake them up with what he world has to offer- and hopefully, put together all of my resources I have pulled together through the years, and if I am able to help even one person- I will feel as if in the end, it was worth all of the “stuff” I faced, and even if you do not realize it, someone who has been in your shoes, is activly working to make EVERYONES dreams a reality, and I do mean everyone, not just those with a 720 credit score and $140,000 to spare… The regular everyday person, or couple, who is paying a mortgage, working two jobs and paying off college loans, auto financing and praying that their seventh application for an Obama modification is accepted- I care, and I hope that I am able to help equalize the atmosphere for each of you- just don’t forget, it may not have been the original plan, but, I really am trying my best to put together all of the options, all of the risks, all of the cost, the benefit, and make someone else feel how good I feel each time I hear, I love you Daddy, because those words to your ears will make it all worth while… I have the best intentions, so, it may not be immediate, but I CARE- and if I can go through this world, and not give up, you can too- and I promise, from the bottom of my heart, I will do what I can with what I know, what I have experienced, all of the loop-holes that we all start to figure out as we navigate through treatments and services- I plan to pull that together, because I understand how you feel, and I know how hard it is to hear the bad news, and I am on your side. (ps… like many things that a person who is truly altruistic in their heart knows, a donation of $100 to a charity does not need to be authenticated by everyone else in the world to feel that you are doing your part to help another, I chose to keep my identity private because, my experience may be part of why I hope to help you, and if you have any doubt, I wanted to share something, that might seem like bragging, but, I am only telling you to show you that anything is possible- I have been active in each area of treatment available through various avenues of information, Dateline, 20/20 and several authors of articles via the Associated Press, to structurlally proceed with caution in their attempts to keep “the freedom of the press” open, and in some cases, eventually ruining a good thing, I have even been successful in my attempts- during my own process- to seek out individuals who you might not even realize are in the same boat as you, in my case I was so desperate for help at one point in my struggle to parenthood, I was given advice by people that if I named them, you wold not believe me, ok, a few Rosie, Oprah, Barbara, The Amazing Race, Survivor Guatemala, Jeopardy, Ikea, and “experts” in the fields of ART and Adoption, heck, I ended up the client of two different programs that where exposed as scams, and frauds- and if someone said that I would have been in places at certain times in my life, and been blessed by God, even in the face of what I have experienced as personal hell… Please know, I am working to make things easier, accessible, available… I was approved today for a trial HAMP, and if I had given up after the first six times, I would not have this chance on the 7th- like Anne Frank wrote in her diary (someone who I have gotten strength and wisdom from, someone, who had no reason in the world to believe that her thoughts and ideas would someday shape the hearts of people of all ages, ethnicities, races, religions, understandings, education, acceptance, virtually ever charity on the planet, and then down to be required reading in school districts across the US) “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.”