Finding My Way Back to My Happy Place

Photo by Stephanie Himel-Nelson

Last May I told you about my Happy Place that I visit from time to time throughout the year. I went there again this weekend, literally and metaphorically. I hiked (fall colors at their peak!), I got a facial (I couldn’t take feeling like a lizard any more), and most importantly, I reconnected to my inner happy place.

My visit was long overdue. Early autumn is typically a difficult period for me. I struggle emotionally. I’m absent-minded. I drag myself through the days by sheer brute force.

It took me years to identify that I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Ironic since autumn is my favorite time of year. April is a “bad” month for me, also.

So here’s the thing. I do nothing to proactively equip myself to cope during my “bad” months. I suffer through; and once the haze lifts I spend the next few weeks recuperating and generally putting myself back together.

Doh. And here I thought I was a fairly smart lady.

Wouldn’t my life be a whole lot easier if I had a plan in place before the Misery Train comes to town?

So this is my vow before all of you: While my head is clear and the pain of the last few weeks is still vivid, I’m creating an action plan for how I’ll get through my next bout of SAD. If I can anticipate pain, I can certainly plan how to cope with it.

I know I’m not alone in this. We all have events and triggers we know will be difficult.

On our Facebook page there are many discussions this time of year about the upcoming holiday season. It’s a minefield for couples struggling with infertility. There’s Aunt Sally asking when you’re going to start a family while everyone’s gathered for Thanksgiving dinner. Seeing your cousin’s newborn for the first time. Excited chatter about a family friend who’s expecting. That Christmas postcard from your college roommate with her family picture gracing the front.

How does one get through it? I just reread a post from earlier this year with tips from Dr. Andrea Braverman on protecting your emotional wellbeing. I hope you take a moment to read it and that it empowers you to put your own action plan in place if you’re dreading the next few weeks.

And I promise I’ll share with you my own action plan that will hopefully make my SAD not so bad.