The Making of Baby 3.1: Surviving an HSG

Photo by Stephanie Himel-Nelson

My husband is a computer geek.

I say that affectionately because, as a network engineer and security expert, he handles all of my home networking and wifi needs. I can work online and use social media to my heart’s content because of the work Trey does behind the scenes. We both rely pretty heavily on technology to do our jobs, so we have no fewer than 5 laptops in our house, along with 2 iPhones, a Blackberry, a desktop computer, a mini laptop, and an iPad. Yes, we might be a tad tech-obsessed in this house!

Because both of us are self-professed computer geeks, we refer to the baby we’re trying to make as Baby 3.0. You see, in the computer software world, each version of the software has it’s own number: 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, etc… Every time Apple comes out with a new version of iTunes, the number changes. But we still get periodic updates every now that we see our computer automatically download, so the numbers look something like iTunes 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, etc… until the next major software upgrade comes along and we move to iTunes 4.0.

Trey and I already have two children, so we’re working on Baby 3.0. Get it? Although technically, since we’ve already had a miscarriage on this try, we’re working on Baby 3.1.

Well, today, my computer geek husband and I had our latest adventure in the journey to make Baby 3.1 – the HSG. An HSG, or Hysterosalpingogram, is this awesome procedure where the doctor inserts a catheter through your cervix and then shoots dye into your fallopian tubes to see what happens. And by awesome I mean I would rather gnaw my own arm off than have the procedure repeated. OK, it wasn’t that bad. But I would rather spend 30 minutes jogging barefoot through the lego strewn floor of my kids’ bedroom in the dark than do it again.

Ouch.

So let me back up a bit. The HSG itself really wasn’t all that bad. I had been taking my antibiotics and I took 800 mg of Ibuprofen about an hour before my procedure. Luckily, all of our wonderful readers on Facebook gave me some great advice about preparing for today, so I knew to keep breathing and concentrate on something other than the HSG itself.

Dr. D, the way-too-cute-for-his-own-good resident was not assisting today; a new Doogie Howser was in his place. Although, thankfully, Doogie was not performing my HSG. While I’m certainly sympathetic to the need for a teaching hospital to actually teach its medical students and residents, I definitely did not want to be someone’s HSG guinea pig. Thankfully, it wasn’t an issue.

My doctor wisely kept me chatting about the law school I attended and where I used to live in the DC area while she inserted the speculum and put a clamp on my cervix. Then she had me cough really hard while she inserted the catheter into my cervix. (Honestly, this was really the worst part for me, but I kept breathing and focused on a photo of a peaceful lake someone had taped up onto the ceiling over the exam table.) Then my doctor inserted the dye and I was done. All together, from speculum insertion to sitting up on the table, it took about 3 minutes. That was it.

I had heard from some people that the HSG procedure was extremely painful for them. Others told me it was more uncomfortable than painful, like menstrual cramps. Luckily for me, I tolerated the HSG very well. The worst part for me was the insertion of the catheter through the cervix, and it was less painful than the IUD insertion I went through once upon a time, before we began trying to conceive. (You know, when we thought that having unprotected sex would actually result in a baby. Hah!) Now, several hours later, I just have some mild cramps that feel much like menstrual cramps and some light bleeding.

Good news! My tubes were clear.

For the next step in the making of Baby 3.1, the lab will use me as a pincushion on day 3 of my cycle. In the meantime, we’re on CD 12 (Cycle Day 12), and my doctor tells me that sometimes people get pregnant right after the HSG, having had their fallopian tubes rather abruptly “cleaned out.” So now the fun part starts!