photo by Stephanie Himel-Nelson
Hello my friends, its Sharon coming to you live from the Attain® IVF Call Center on this beautiful Thursday afternoon.
The clocks have rolled back, Thanksgiving arrives in 2 weeks, the Holiday gatherings will begin and you’re dealing with infertility. The holiday season is especially tough. The family gatherings and social events can bring out a variety of emotions for you, especially when those you’re gathering with have children of their own. So what do you and your partner do when everyone from Aunt Mary to your neighbor’s brother’s third cousin twice removed asks questions or offers advice? (Accidentally bumping into someone with your glass of Merlot or using the 7 letter word that rhymes with bowl may be our gut feeling, however, let’s rise above that).
Ok, so let’s come up with a plan. Here are some of the possible scenarios and suggestions our Attain IVF callers have shared with us so that couples without a child can make the holiday season a time of joy and happiness despite.
Plan Ahead: Communicate openly with your partner to see which situations you feel most comfortable going to and those you’d like to avoid. For example, you may wish to arrive at the family party after the kids have opened their gifts. Offer some ideas to family members about how they can be supportive, while recognizing that they will want to enjoy the holidays as well. Be prepared to compromise and be creative.
Change it up: It’s okay to limit holiday events that may seem challenging. Consider creating new traditions with your partner or spouse or others. Have a progressive dinner party; one house serves drinks and appetizers, the next the main course, the next dessert and lattes!
Find your own joy: Be good to your self and recognize that it’s okay to have some negative feelings. Focus on things you enjoy; holiday foods, music, volunteering or donating to a favorite charity.
Be prepared with answers: Although we believe everyone is truly well-intentioned, people have a way of surprising us with an array of questions, “oh, we thought you’d have 2 kids by now” or “you’re how old, I guess you won’t wait much longer to have a baby?” It’s best to keep the answer short and simple, “when we have news to share, we’ll let you know” or “sometimes it isn’t a choice.”
Then again there are always ear plugs, “What did you say?”
Anything that helps reduce stress and enjoy this time is worth considering.
Until next time, all my best.
