Memorial Day weekend can be hard when you’re infertile. At my age, at least, it seems as if everyone is pregnant or toting a baby at the weekend picnics and barbeques. And if you’re spending time with your extended family, there can be all those pesky questions. “So when exactly are you going to have a baby? You’re not getting any younger, you know!”
Last November, we hosted a Twitter Party with renowned psychologist and infertility counseling specialist in the field of assisted reproduction, Dr. Andrea Braverman. Dr. Braverman answered quite a few questions for us about coping with infertility during the holidays, advice that works for any family or party gathering. Here are a few of the questions and answers from Twitter:
@AttainFertility #TTCholiday how do u stop from breaking down or blowing up when people constantly ask “what are u waiting on”?
Dr. Braverman: Have a quick standard response/subject change rdy: “How’s your mom doing?” “How’s UR weight loss coming?” LOL! #TTCholiday
What do I do if I get upset? How do I explain my reaction without “spilling the beans?” #TTCholiday
Dr. Braverman: Have excuse prepared so you can leave & don’t have to figure it out suddenly. Headache. Upset stomach. It’s OK to b private. #TTCholiday
How can I nicely tell people I’m not looking for their tips on how to get pregnant? #TTCholiday
Dr. Braverman: Firmly tell them you have the best medical care possible and are completely on top of things. #TTCholiday
When I see babies I cry. Can’t avoid nieces. How do I pull myself together w/out making everyone feel bad. #TTCholiday #infertility
Dr. Braverman: Be upfront and let family know that you will cry but are ok, so just understand that crying is how the pressure gets out. #TTCholiday
Step outside if you need to really let it out. Have support person who knows to go w/you & let you voice your feelings. #TTCholiday
Dr. Braverman has some great advice and I come back to her words often as a reminder when I’m feeling down about my fertility journey. This weekend, I’ll also try to focus on what Memorial Day is really all about – remembering and honoring those who died for our country. It gives me a little perspective.
What are your plans for the weekend and are you anticipating any problems?
