Father’s Day: Suffering in Silence

Just when an infertile couple is getting over the pressures of mother’s day, father’s day arrives quickly to re-open the wounds of infertility. Today I discuss how father’s day can affect men in an infertile couple and what the guys can do about it.

Father’s Day is a time to celebrate with breakfast in bed, “I luv daddy” cards, and an exciting day with the family. But, when a couple is struggling with infertility, even the toughest “would be father” can feel affected by a Father’s Day. Having experienced infertility personally, I understand the pain. Father’s Day reminds us guys about the years that we could be experiencing with our children, the frustration with the treatments of infertility, and the ache from seeing sadness in the eyes of your wife. The pain is something we guys don’t like to talk about. We feel like we must be the strong ones supporting our partners as they struggle with the physical and emotional effects of infertility. So, we suffer in silence.

I encourage all men who are struggling with infertility to talk with their spouses about how they feel. Being strong and supportive is helpful but keeping your emotions and thoughts bottled up can lead to even more stress and isolation. Talking openly about your pain from infertility with your partner can help ease the stress for both of you. Open discussions may also bring you closer to your partner during one of the most stressful times in your lives.

Discuss with your partner your fears, frustrations, doubts, and hopes. You may be surprised that your partner shares your same concerns. You can also talk with your infertility doctor. Your infertility doctor will be able to clarify issues about infertility to help you better understand the disease. I have spoken with many men who have nearly given up hope about the causes and treatments of infertility and they often feel less stressed when they realize that there are successful treatments available and that we can help conquer some of the seemingly impossible infertility problems. You can also talk to a therapist who specializes in couples who struggle with infertility.

On this Father’s Day, don’t suffer in silence. And don’t give up.

Dr. Lowell T. Ku, M.D. is an award winning and leading Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility specialist at Dallas IVF, one the nation’s premiere infertility centers.  Dr. Ku clarifies the many confusing terms used in the world of Infertility using straightforward explanations.