by Sharon Brooks
Hello my friends!
It’s holiday time; Thanksgiving arrives next week, the gatherings begin and if you’re dealing with infertility your spirit feels more like bah humbug than ho-ho-ho.
It’s okay to feel this way.
All of this can bring out a variety of emotions, especially when friends and family bring their babies and children. So what do you and your partner do when some well meaning folks are on their 3rd glass of bubbly and you get cornered with questions like, “so when are you planning to have a baby?” The answer is a plan.
Our wonderful Attain IVF callers have shared suggestions on how couples without a child can make the holiday season a time of joy and happiness despite infertility.
- Plan Ahead: Communicate openly with your partner to see which situations you feel most comfortable going to and those you’d like to avoid. For example, you may wish to arrive at the family party after the kids have opened their gifts. Offer some ideas to family members about how they can be supportive, while recognizing that they will want to enjoy the holidays as well. Be prepared to compromise and be creative.
- Change it up: It’s okay to limit holiday events that may seem challenging. Consider creating new traditions with your partner or spouse or others. Have a progressive dinner party; one house serves drinks and appetizers, the next the main course, the next dessert and lattes!
- Find your own joy: Be good to your self and recognize that it’s okay to have some negative feelings. Focus on things you enjoy; holiday foods, music, volunteering or donating to a favorite charity.
- Be prepared with answers: Although we believe everyone is truly well-intentioned, people have a way of surprising us with an array of questions, “oh, we thought you’d have 2 kids by now” or “you’re how old, I guess you won’t wait much longer to have a baby?” It’s best to keep the answer short and simple, “when we have news to share, we’ll let you know” or “sometimes it isn’t a choice.”
Then again there are always ear plugs, “what did you say?”
Anything that helps reduce stress and enjoy this time is worth considering.
Until next time, Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Photo by Stephanie Himel-Nelson.
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