Way back when I was caught up in the infertility game the first time, I discovered the infertility blogs. Even though no one around me really understand what we were going through, here was a whole community of people that got it. I was hooked. But then I succeeded in having children and I didn’t really feel like I could participate in the community any more, even though I continued to lurk on all m favorite infertility blogs.
I first met Melissa in 2007 when we were both blogging for the now defunct DC Metro Moms website, but I’d known of her for awhile. Melissa Ford, the author of Stirrup Queens was a bit of a hero to me because she insisted that once an infertile, always an infertile, and our place was with the infertility community if we needed it to be.
Melissa has worked hard to foster a thriving infertility community, creating the mother of all Infertility Blog Rolls and starting the Crème de la Crème to recognize all infertility bloggers. Mel was kind enough to answer a few questions about the Crème and infertility. Read on!
1. What is the Creme de la Creme and how did it start?
The Creme de la Creme started back in 2006 as a response to those blogging award contests every winter — the ones where you had to beg your readers to vote for you. The reality is that there were too many great writers being ignored because they didn’t have enormous traffic. I started the Creme de la Creme because everyone has a personal best post. And that matters — I think — even more than getting people to declare one blogger the “best” blogger.
The first year we had about 70 or 80 posts. By the 5th year, we had 364 posts. I predict we’ll have about 400 posts this year. At least, that’s my hope. Maybe bloggers can prove me wrong and get it to 500.
2. How can our community members who blog enter the Creme?
It’s very easy. Every year, I outline all the sign-up details into a single post (http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2011/10/the-yearly-creme-de-la-creme-list-is-now-open/). I beg people to read it from start to finish even though it’s long because it contains all the small details. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been blogging forever or if you just started your blog in October — everyone is welcome to join along.
3. Tell us a little bit about your own fertility journey. How did you start blogging about it and why?
I didn’t actually start blogging until after the twins were born and we were returning to the RE to have another child. I was… how can we say this kindly… a little stressed out the first time around. By which I mean that I was a total wreck. My husband suggested that I start a blog and get out some of these feelings by connecting with others.
4. I know that after successfully having a baby, many feel like they no longer belong in the infertility community. I know you disagree. Why?
It may be because I entered after I already had done my first round of treatments and had the twins. I was never not a parent while in the IF community. But I think it’s also that I don’t view infertility as a moment in time with an end date. It has shaped the way I view the world. And we are always running up against the topic of infertility when people ask us questions about the twins (“do they run in your family?” etc).
5. I loved your book Life From Scratch but I wonder if people expected you to write more about infertility after Navigating the Land of IF. Has that been the case? What was the inspiration for the story?
While infertility isn’t a prominent topic in Life from Scratch, Arianna is infertile (and Beckett is an IVF-baby). And infertility features heavily in future Rachel Goldman books. Honestly, the inspiration came right after I put the Land of If manuscript to bed. I needed to write something lighter for a bit, and I was carrying a stack of cookbooks out of the library when I started mentally constructing a character who was a food blogger. I still get to write about infertility on my blog, but I’ve been enjoying delving into fiction.
6. Our community has a large number of people new to infertility. What advice would you give to someone who has just been diagnosed or, even more frustratingly, hasn’t been diagnosed?
My sister gave me this advice once in regards to dating, but I think it fits with infertility too: you do what you need to do in order to get through this without creating more problems for yourself on the other end. Some days you’re up to attending a baby shower, sometimes you need to attend one so you don’t create problems for yourself on the other end. But other times, if you need to skip it, skip it. If you need to go in the bathroom and cry during Christmas dinner, do it. There is no “right” way to get through infertility. There is only the way that works for you.
Melissa Ford is the author of Navigating the Land of IF and Life from Scratch, as well as the popular infertility blog Stirrup Queens. You can submit a post for the Crème de la Crème anytime before December 15th. The list will be unveiled on January 1, 2012.
