In honor of National Adoption Month, we interviewed author Lori Lyons, an adoptive mom, to learn more about her adoption journey. She shares her story and some helpful words of wisdom for those interested in learning more about adoption.
AF: Tell us about your experiences with infertility.
I dealt with infertility for six years and saw six different doctors. I tried artificial insemination (two IUIs) and a few other “science experiments.” I was diagnosed with, and still have, unexplained infertility. No one ever found a reason for my infertility.
AF: What led you to want to adopt a child?
I was unable to have a child on my own. I was never one of those people who “always wanted” to adopt. I adopted because it was the only way for me to have a child.
AF: Briefly describe the steps you took to adopt.
I initially approached some agencies to learn more about adoption. Catholic Charities quoted $40,000 for the adoption process (and five years!) Another local agency asked me for $10,000 just to get on their list. There was no way we could afford that. So we started looking at other options. Basically, we subcontracted it out. I hired a social worker to do our home study, paid a lawyer a retainer, and we searched on our own. We sent out letters to everyone we knew and passed out business cards. Keep in mind, this was before Facebook and blogs and MySpace!
AF: What resources were most helpful along the way?
The book Adopting in America: How to Adopt a Child in One Year by Randall B. Hicks was very helpful. Our adoption journey took 13 months from the time we sent out our letters to the time she came home with us.
AF: What advice do you have for others that want to adopt? Is there anything that you wish you had known from the start of the process?
Know that it can be done. Think outside the box but keep your morals intact. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I will do anything for a baby” mentality. We nearly did in one situation. We almost let ourselves get swept away into a nearly disastrous situation with one potential birthmother.
AF: How does it feel to be a mom?
I feel that this is the child I was destined to have all along. It’s as if God said, “I have one picked out special for you. You’ll just have to wait for her.” She is so much my child. People say she looks like me. She acts like me. Many people don’t even know she was adopted. She’s a 20-year-old in a 10-year-old body. She is beautiful and magical and amazing and just the light of my life. I can’t remember what I did before she came.
Thank you Lori!
To find out more about Lori’s adoption story, check out her newly released book Adopting in America: The Diary of a Mom in Waiting. We also encourage you to check out these other helpful adoption resources below.
Adoption: A Guide for Patients; American Society for Reproductive Medicine
Adoption: RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association
Includes Questions to Ask Series, Podcasts, Videos, and Articles
Adoption: The American Fertility Association
Includes Articles, FAQs, Blog Posts, Fact Sheets, and Webinars
