In the last few years that I’ve been working with Attain Fertility, I have heard so many stories of sorrow and pain. Stories from women and men just like you. Many of you finally became pregnant, perhaps after months or years of trying, but some of those pregnancies just did not make it.
The sad truth is that nature does not make all pregnancies equal. In fact, 1 in 4 pregnancies (maybe more) end in miscarriage. Many of you in our Attain Fertility community (including myself) know firsthand how difficult and sad it can be to lose a much-desired pregnancy. It hurts. Terribly. A deep, primal, physical and emotional pain.
Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. A day for us to unite, support each other, and remind each other that we are not alone in mourning our losses. Sharing our stories of loss is not easy. We may feel guilt. We may feel shame. We may blame ourselves or think that we must have done something wrong. Was it stress? Bad karma? Something we ate or something we drank? How could we have done it all differently?
A woman’s relationship to her body is a complex thing. Why do we feel guilt after a loss? Why do we feel shame? Why do we hide the truth or continue to blame ourselves? The fact is that most miscarriages are due to causes and factors outside of our control.
Recently, I’ve been noticing more and more celebrities who have been open about their experiences of pregnancy loss. Feel free to read their stories and share your own here or on our Facebook page.
- Giuliana Rancic has been very open about her experience with IVF, infertility and pregnancy loss.
- Actress Courtney Cox experienced multiple miscarriages before giving birth to a daughter at age 40.
- Before having their baby Blue Ivy, Beyonce and Jay-Z had a miscarriage.
- Lisa Hochstein: Real Housewives of Miami recently discussed her struggles trying to conceive.
- Bethenny Frankel, of reality TV fame, shares her emotional experience of having a miscarriage after the birth of her daughter.
- Lily Allen, the British pop singer, had multiple miscarriages including a stillbirth after 20 weeks of pregnancy.
- Mariah Carey had a miscarriage before using fertility treatment to become pregnant with her twins.
- Nicole Kidman, after years of infertility and pregnancy loss, is now a mom of 4, including two adopted children and a baby born via a gestational carrier.
Let us know how you are doing and thank you for being here with us today. We are all thinking about you and sending hugs.
Britt Berg is a women’s health medical writer and blogger. She is also a trained therapist and co-author of Making a Baby, a book about infertility.